Apr 13, 2009
Fear's Ugly Head
I’m stuck. Although I've never said I had the perfect horse, we’ve grown together as as a team the last few years. I was comfortable and confident and we had some remarkable rides. And now with ride season taking off, I am finding new challenges in her attitude that have me puzzled. The last two rides, my mare was lazy and unwilling, moody and a bit unpredictable – displaying some undesirable attitude I haven’t seen for years. Her teeth were done in November and I treated her for an abscess during that same time. Otherwise, there have been no health or lameness issues that I could contribute to this attitude problem.
Although I saw some glimpses of this earlier this season, I wrote it off to riding less during the winter and needing to get our groove back. And while I think the right person can bring her back from the dark side – and that person should be me – some of my fear issues have surfaced that have been lying semi-dormant for some time. Fear can be your friend when it is reasonable. It can be your downfall when it isn’t. I don’t know how to classify it right now. I just know that I need to be the strong one and I’m turning to mush.
The weather has not cooperated enough for any consistent riding. Where there may be one good day to ride, the next day its raining or snowing or windy or cold or all of the above. So I end the ride frustrated and can do nothing about it except obsess over it for the next few days. Literally drive my friends nuts with over analyzing the situation. Torn between having John ride the hell out of her or giving it all up and doing needle point. (Highly unlikely, but sounds safe!) I just hate being in this funk! Being stuck!