Dec 2, 2011

Embellishment: A Rant


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Since when did weather become news?  It seems to be a growing trend.  I don’t usually watch local television but the times I have and there are storms in the area, whether it be a chance of rain or a frickin’ tornado, the local meteorologists take up 3/4 of a 42” television screen to track the radar and issue warnings.  Now I’m not trying to mess with my fate here, but I am fifty years old and a Nebraska native and have yet to see a tornado.  And I have never taken cover in a thunderstorm; cussed a bit knowing it might take down my trees or ruin some flowers.  But really?  Interrupting Wheel of Fortune for a little rain?  Come on!  Let’s save that space for a tornado WARNING, not a watch-it-and-see thingy.


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I get my weather from or the app on my iPhone and make my own assumptions about what it all means.  This week, I heard talk at work and on Facebook that we were getting bad weather on Thursday!  OMG, snow!  We didn’t.  And it’s now 7:30 pm on Friday evening and following a sunny day with a slight breeze out of the south, still no snow.  But once again, I hear rumblings of what is yet to come….


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So I click over to the local KOLN-TV station and listen to their “Pin Point Weather on Demand” to see what the Big Fat Lying Weatherman (BFLWM) really has to say.  Check this out: 

They are issuing a "Severe Weather Alert", he said.  There is a "winter storm watch" for Lincoln which "could" result in "moderate" accumulations of snow.  They (the television station) has declared Saturday a "Weather Alert Day" (WAD).  Delving deeper into definition on their weather webpage, they define the ominous WAD as a day when "conditions are favorable for potentially dangerous weather.”

WAD?  WTF?  How many broadcasting consultants did it take to come up with that hokey pokey scare tactic.  The old folks are probably out with their walkers in full-force buying the last half gallon of skim milk and package of minced ham preparing to hunker down for this made-up weather warning. 




Now what I will give the BFLWM is this:  It’s a crap shoot predicting weather.  Conditions might be favorable to snow.  There may be accumulation and there may not.  But come on.  Enough with the doom and gloom, okay? simply says:  “Cloudy with rain and snow in the morning, becoming all snow in the afternoon. Temps nearly steady in the mid 30s. Winds NNE at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of precip 90%. 2 to 4 inches of snow expected.”  Not really anything that makes me want to make a run to the bread aisle at the Walmart.


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(ahhhh, Blue with Ginger)


It’s been almost fifty degrees most of the week and will be in the mid-thirties tomorrow.  We ain’t getting no blizzard out of this, folks.  A little slush, a little inconvenience IF it even comes this far north.  I ain’t no weatherman but I’ve lived in these parts enough to know when a bad one is coming.  I don’t think this is it. 


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See The Blizzard of 2009 – THAT as a WAD!  Heck, it was a WAW with an SOS!)   I’ll let you know who wins this one.  BFLWM or me.


(Pictures are all from my archives.)

Totally unrelated to weather, someone sent me this link to the best of  I laughed until I cried.  I sent it to my sister and she called me laughing so hard we couldn’t talk; only laugh in the phone at each other.  It is pretty R rated, so if you are easily offended by bad language and such, don’t click over. 




  1. I think we're getting your storm down here in New Mexico, except it was pretty downplayed on the news here. It's already snowed about 5" and we're expecting more tomorrow. NOAA says we can expect up to a foot of snow before the weekend's over.
    I'm glad I stocked up on hot cocoa, soup supplies and pizza making stuff. We have nowhere to go and are all set for whatever the weather brings :)


  2. Would you rather hear breathless weatherguessing or political news? I'll take "ZOMG IT MIGHT SNOW!!" any day! ;)

    I think I have the opposite problem. My local paper's website has a meteorologist with his own column. He'll touch on an element of the forecast, like "a high pressure from the west" and explain how the mountains and jet stream combine to give Reno its weather. He's so awesome, but he hasn't posted since Thanksgiving! Our weather is too boring for him to write about.

  3. We get the same thing around here. It's like they take the least little change and sensationalize it. Wow, change in weather's going down a few degrees. They almost seem giddy if there's snowstorm in the forecast.

  4. A couple of years ago we had a guest at our lodge who asked me what the forecast was for the day.

    I said "Misleading."

    I asked him "Wouldn't it be great to have a job where you are ALWAYS wrong, and still get to keep your job?"

    He said "Sounds like being a husband."

    Laughed til it hurt.


  5. I was outside doing chores this morning when the snow started. It was just after sunrise, calm and quiet, and about 34 degrees. Talk about a beautiful morning!!!

    The only preparation I made for this "weather event" was adding a little bit of extra bedding for my two bottle calves. :)

    Heck, I might even venture back out in the snow simply because I'm bored sitting in the house.

  6. Now then! What can be so enthralling as the possibility of weather! In the last 30 years, the weather forecasters have attained an unenviable reputation, here in the Uk, for being wrong, on the most regular of occasions!

    As you may know, the British have a preoccupation with the weather. It forms every part of our waking moments!Lol.
    But only because its never right! God help us! They give us all the technology, all the guff, and hey presto! It is still wrong!
    They offer us sunshine on a grand scale, but all we get is *;:%ing rain! Winds and cloudy days. I wish we could go back to the days when the forecast was only for the day you were in! Then all you did was look out of the bloody window!

    So in all, I now hold out the flat of my hand, and if it feels wet, I know its raining!

  7. Oh, crying, laughing,snorting here!! I had to stop at the guy who wrote- he killed his date in the woods after dinner!

  8. I call that " smartyass" phone corrections. Now that I have made THAT a word ...sometimes it uses it ....gotta be carefull- all the time!


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